Daintycakes: So, I was thinking about maternity photos…
Beefcake: Actually?
Daintycakes: so, here’s my idea
me, with some gauzy fabric, looking all majestic with my belly hanging out
riding a horse
Beefcake: That would be the most majestic.
Daintycakes: then, through the magic of photoshop, boom you’re a centaur
Beefcake: Fantasy pregnancy adventure.
Daintycakes: it would be both hot and classy

So, listen, Mother Nature. You and I need to have a talk.
Ahem.

I like you. I really do. I spend a lot of time with you. Almost every morning in fact, and extra on the weekends in the afternoons and evenings.

But lately, it seems that you’ve changed. I know, we all change as time goes on, and by and large I understand. Sometimes, you’re shining warm and inviting. Sometimes, you’re gentle and soothing. Sometimes you’re hurtful, chilling and biting. Sometimes you’re oppresive, stifling and strangling. Sometimes you’re downright destructive.

I feel like I take these moods in stride, like all dedicated companions. I find joy in most of these moods, and feel like we can share some really great moments in almost all of them. During those times that you make it abundantly clear that you’d like to be alone, I try to respect that.

But seriously, it’s APRIL bitch. Get a grip. You need to fucking MOVE ON.

D: I have to think of what I’m going to call you on the blog. You know, to maintain my privacy. I can’t use your real name. I was thinking “Beefcake Mansteed.”

Beefcake Mansteed: That’s a terrible name.

D: Really, out of all of the nicknames I’ve give you over the course of our relationship, this one isn’t so bad.

Beefcake Mansteed: Well, I guess you have a point there.

*some time passes*

D: I probably smell like whiskey right now.

Beefcake Mansteed: Yeah, you do.

D: Cougars smell like whiskey. You could pretend I’m a cougar if you wanted to.

Beefcake Mansteed: I don’t want to pretend you’re a cougar.

D: If you’re nice, you can take a field trip to the Cougar Melon Camp!

Beefcake Mansteed: *horrified look*

D: *hysterical laughter*

fini

Look at that! That’s what happens when you feel like crap but are also bored. It was fun to play around with Photoshop again, as I haven’t done any graphic design for a long long time.