I’m WAY to drunk to do anything resembling a normal post, so here’s a list of random things:

1. I went to the Almelund Threshing Shown last weekend. This is what thresing is:

Simply the most captivating tractor show in all of existence. Enthralling!

2. Beefcake: “Let me at those buns.”
Daintycakes: “No Goddamn it”
Beefcake: “That was really funny.”

3. Last week, I made some very awesome yarn:

4. Beefcake: “I’m not thinking about buns, I’m playing Star Wars!”

5. This weekend (aka today before I got drunk) I made BREAD!

AND JAM!

6. Girl Talk’s “All Day” may be concurrently the most captivating album ever and the best background music ever.

7. At one point tonight, I pointed out to Beefcake that he was, in fact, the most upper-middle class white guy ever, and he legit responded with “I’m going medieval.” He was playing “Mount and Blade.” Beefcake rarely drinks, and almost never gets drunk, but today, all bets are off and he plays by his own rules; he’s a loose cannon. And he’s really easy to entertain.

8. Ladies are made out of breakfast food.

9. Apparently, it’s MUCH easier to grind at Star Wars: The Old Republic while drunk than it is while sober. This is not a quote from Beefcake, apparently. He’s just running around talking to people and there’s NO benefit…

Cheers, bitches!

Hey dudes! Drunk again. Decided to try making margaritas!

Beefcake says that tequila makes him take off all his clothes and run around, which is fine by me. I had to make some stuff up because none of the recipes matched what I had on hand, even though I went shopping for stuff to make margaritas.

Beginner Margaritas:

Fancy Booze!

Ingredients:

1/2 cup sweet and sour mix
1/4 cup orange liqueur (I used Mandarine Napoleon, but Grand Marnier or Cointreau might work, but I don’t know because I’ve never had them)
1/3 cup tequila (Patron, on the recommendation of coworker A, also it was on sale)

1/4 lime, and some salt

1. mix all the liquid stuff together and squeeze most of the lime juice into it
2. take the lime thingie and rub it on the edge of your glass, then rub it on some salt
3. fill the glass with the booze and maybe an ice cube and drink!

According to Beefcake, it tastes just like a margarita. Success!

I also made some kickass enchiladas, but that’s gonna take some sobering up to post about. They are totally worth the wait. Next post!

ETA: Beefcake did not take off all his clothes and run around but the night did result in the following:
1. A duet of Air Supply’s “All out of love.”
2. The decision that Beefcake’s alternate nickname would be “Juicy Mangerine.”
3. A video montage of Full House’s Michelle Tanner saying “you got it, dude” over and over again.

Normally, I’m not drunk. However, I thought this was important. Here you go.

Step 1. Get watermelon and lemon lime soda.

shingles & soda

Step 2. Also get vodka. Yes, you can buy it at costco. It’s roughly the size and shape of a cricket bat.

I don't even know how to play cricket

Step 3. Chop up your watermelon. Don’t forget to take a picture.

cubed!

Step 4. Puree those fuckers with an immersion blender or a food processor or something.

MIX

Step 5. Add 1 cup soda and 2 shots vodka. Garnish with lemon wedge that came packaged with the watermelon.

cheers, bishes!

Every year, I make a bunch of cookies to get out of giving actual gifts to people for whom it is difficult to shop. It takes me an afternoon or two, and I get five or six recipients deliciously taken care of in one fell swoop. I skipped making two of the cookies I’ve made in the past (Kolacke and Spritz) because I just couldn’t be bothered, and instead opted for some new recipes. They all turned out pretty good!

I’ve made the peanut butter choco-kiss cookies before, because they are extra easy, and neither overly chocolatey nor overly peanut buttery.

Smores cookies were new this year. I really really like smores, enough to make them year round over the gas burner of our stove. Next time I make these, I will probably choose a chocolate chip cookie recipe that’s softer.

Choco-pretzels are so stupid easy, anyone can do them. I highly suggest this recipe for anyone who is baking-challenged. A tasty variation is using Rolos and toasted walnut halves. Don’t use the caramel Hersheys Kisses or you’ll end up with a sticky mess.

Drunken Honey Cookies…oh my. Sweet biscuit-like manna from heaven. MAKE THESE.

I also make iced sugar cookies every year. These cookies are not photogenic, but they are delicious. It’s a secret recipe though, so no sharing!

Holy crap you guys, these are so good they’ll make you weep.

I did change a few things. I used whole wheat flour, I used two cups of half and half instead of 1.5 cups of milk, and I tossed in some nutmeg. As written, the batter is really really thick, so if you use milk, you may want to use more than indicated as well.

In order to enjoy these to their fullest potential, you MUST use REAL maple syrup with them. It took all of my willpower to not eat all of them at once.

I made these one morning when I had some extra time before work:

Obviously, these are much better fresh. They are very slightly curry flavoured, but I bet they’d be good if you did sweet seasonings (a little sugar, cinnamon, etc.) as a dessert fritter with some ice cream or something.

Sometimes though, the sweet pumpkin stuff can be a little overwhelming, which is why I always make a curry soup with my pumpkin.

I follow this recipe exactly, and every time it’s delicious. DOUBLE PUMPKIN CURRY POWER in this meal right here.

So, here’s an idea so brilliant that I can’t believe I haven’t seen someone else do it before:  Chocolate Chip Pretzel Cookies!

I saw the idea on Macheesmo, which is one of my new favourite cooking/recipe sites, and said duh, of course. I didn’t use his cookie recipe, intruiging as it is, because I don’t usually have cake flour. I instead used this one and just smooshed broken up pretzel into the top of the dough before baking them. To be honest, they were freaking delicious.

Coming up this week: A run in the park, a lot of pumpkin things, and apple picking!

So, when I have too much time in the morning, I usually do some cooking.  This morning, it was egg pancakes/crepes/french omelets!

Ingredients (*these are optional and customizable, duh):

Egg Pancake Batter (I really like food52.com’s recipe)
Butter
*Ham (deli meat for me)
*Cheese (I used Gruyere this time)
*Diet Mountain Dew (for powering up)

Instructions:
1. Pour some batter into a smallish frying pan and swirl it around just a little. Don’t use too much batter or you’ll make a regular pancake instead.

2. When it starts to look solid on top (kind of like rubber or plastic) flip that bad boy over. I do this by wildly flailing around until it flips. If you’re a coward, you could use two pans. DO NOT, under any circumstances, try to grab it with tongs or a fork or something, or it will fall apart and you’ll have to eat it in pieces, salted with your own tears.

3. Let that side cook for a minute or so, and add your fillings. Don’t use too much!

4. Fold it up. The easiest way to do this, I think, is to fold one third over the toppings, then roll the whole thing over the last third, so the overlap is in the bottom of the pan.

I gave one to my husband as a snack, and packed the other two into my bento for lunch today. YAY!