Point

A: “I had this drink at the bar last night, called Sex with an Alligator.”

D: “What?”

A: “Sex with an Alligator.”

D: “Why would you name it that?  You can’t have sex with an alligator!”

A: “Listen, I didn’t name it that.  Don’t blame me.  The bottom is cherry whatever…”

D: “Cherry…whatever?”

A: “McGillicuddy’s or whatever.  Then Midori, then coconut rum.  Not Malibu, it’s kind of creamy like coconut milk.  Then Jag.”

D: “That sounds revolting.”

A: “You know what?  It kind of is.  I need to find a new bar.”

Counterpoint

D: “Right now I’m sourcing food-grade lavender, I found a recipe for honey-lavender simple syrup, and a recipe for a lavender-syrup rusty nail.”

A: “Gross.  Isn’t lavender a smell?”

Normally, I’m not drunk. However, I thought this was important. Here you go.

Step 1. Get watermelon and lemon lime soda.

shingles & soda

Step 2. Also get vodka. Yes, you can buy it at costco. It’s roughly the size and shape of a cricket bat.

I don't even know how to play cricket

Step 3. Chop up your watermelon. Don’t forget to take a picture.

cubed!

Step 4. Puree those fuckers with an immersion blender or a food processor or something.

MIX

Step 5. Add 1 cup soda and 2 shots vodka. Garnish with lemon wedge that came packaged with the watermelon.

cheers, bishes!

Every year, I make a bunch of cookies to get out of giving actual gifts to people for whom it is difficult to shop. It takes me an afternoon or two, and I get five or six recipients deliciously taken care of in one fell swoop. I skipped making two of the cookies I’ve made in the past (Kolacke and Spritz) because I just couldn’t be bothered, and instead opted for some new recipes. They all turned out pretty good!

I’ve made the peanut butter choco-kiss cookies before, because they are extra easy, and neither overly chocolatey nor overly peanut buttery.

Smores cookies were new this year. I really really like smores, enough to make them year round over the gas burner of our stove. Next time I make these, I will probably choose a chocolate chip cookie recipe that’s softer.

Choco-pretzels are so stupid easy, anyone can do them. I highly suggest this recipe for anyone who is baking-challenged. A tasty variation is using Rolos and toasted walnut halves. Don’t use the caramel Hersheys Kisses or you’ll end up with a sticky mess.

Drunken Honey Cookies…oh my. Sweet biscuit-like manna from heaven. MAKE THESE.

I also make iced sugar cookies every year. These cookies are not photogenic, but they are delicious. It’s a secret recipe though, so no sharing!