Normally, I’m not drunk. However, I thought this was important. Here you go.
Step 1. Get watermelon and lemon lime soda.

shingles & soda
Step 2. Also get vodka. Yes, you can buy it at costco. It’s roughly the size and shape of a cricket bat.

I don't even know how to play cricket
Step 3. Chop up your watermelon. Don’t forget to take a picture.

cubed!
Step 4. Puree those fuckers with an immersion blender or a food processor or something.

MIX
Step 5. Add 1 cup soda and 2 shots vodka. Garnish with lemon wedge that came packaged with the watermelon.

cheers, bishes!