Two Realizations

It’s been a while since I’ve done a boozy post, and it’s late and I’m out of wine now, so here are two three things I’ve realized in the last 20 minutes:

1. If I’m ever allowed to get a mini donkey as a pet, I’m naming it “Hotay.”

2. I was perusing the internets and came across some dumb picture the summary of which was “hey dude wives are DUMB I totally have way more fun with my BROS when WIVES aren’t around! Let’s talk about BOOBS and FARTS like MANLY MEN DO WITHOUT THEIR WIVES AROUND.” Then I realized that boobs came up in the last conversation I had with my friend Hoecakes, and farts, among other bodily functions, come up frequently with both Hoecakes and coworker Boozecakes. Therefore, I am a manly man and also think wives suck. But I am a wife. And thus I am a Shroedinger’s cat of wifeliness.

3. This is the second reasonably accurate Schroedinger’s cat reference I’ve made today.

I also found out that Beefcake doesn’t read my blog. His explanation is that he doesn’t need to, since he “lives it.” He will be full of regret.

ETA: Drunk me is some kind of masochist who insists on watching youtube videos of Air Supply even though the lead singer looks like he wouldn’t hesitate to roofie your ass straight to Monday.

Leave a Reply